One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

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One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby Fburtxds1 on Mon Mar 07, 2011 8:34 am

I was contacted by Bob Lasher last night who informed me that he lost his wife, Janet, to cancer yesterday morning. We need to reach out to him and offer him our support and prayers.

He sent me a very moving and detailed message expressing his grief and sense of loss. His knowledge of my own similar loss prompted him to contact me as a person who could relate to what he is going through. I do know his pain and feel honored that he should come to me in search of answers. I will try my best to provide what I can, and I know you are all willing to do the same.

I only wish I had had you guys around when I went through the same thing. Even after all these years I have been able to gather strength and comfort from your friendship, and I know you will also be there for Bob.

God bless you all, and especially Bob and his family.
Eccentrici eremitarum facere omnia in nudis

Frank Burt DS1 1970-1978
DS A1/A2, Display "C" (1616) 70-72
USS Richmond K. Turner CG-20 72-76
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby griesmeyer on Mon Mar 07, 2011 11:26 am

Bob,

I'M so sorry to hear of your great loss. May God bless you and your family. My prayers are with you.

Bob
Mare Island Student 1967-68
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby swedecpa on Mon Mar 07, 2011 11:32 am

Bob,
My condolences go out to you. If there is anything that I can help you with, please let me know. You are in our prayers.
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby paulechols on Mon Mar 07, 2011 12:13 pm

Bob,

I cannot imagine the severe loss you have sustained. Be glad you had the time with her and be thankful for that time. We will keep you both in our prayers.

God bless you and keep you both.
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby Doc Kivlighan on Mon Mar 07, 2011 12:15 pm

Bob,
My condolences to both you and your extended family.
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby rmcguire on Mon Mar 07, 2011 1:51 pm

Bob,
I'm so very sorry for your loss. My most sincere condolences to you and your family.

Regards,
Rex McGuire KD0QEQ
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby dscmob on Mon Mar 07, 2011 2:03 pm

Bob, My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours for such a tragic loss. I lost my wife to cancer in 2004, and I know what you have been thru, are going thru, and will experience. If I can help in anyway PLEASE feel free to call me, anytime, day or night. Frank has my number, or PM me and I will be glad to send it to you. Dave
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby schrand on Mon Mar 07, 2011 3:50 pm

My sincere condolences to Bob and family.
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby Rick Ward on Mon Mar 07, 2011 6:38 pm

Bob;

My heart goes out to you and your family.

As Dave said, if there is anything I can do to help make this bearable, please call or pm me.

Rick.
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby blasher on Mon Mar 07, 2011 7:04 pm

I want to thank all of you for your offers on condolences.

I was married to Janet for 28 years. We have been together about 32 years. Our daughter, Melanie, (my step) is 35, so we met each other when she was about 3 1/2 years old. She was the glue that held everything together. She went to every doctor appointment, chemo session, radiation treatment, etc. She learned quite a bit about cancer and the treatments available and their outcomes, side effects. She is being the one to lean on and she on me.

Like Frank mentioned, I had read about his situation with his wife and a quick unexpected death.

It seems so weird, not having her around. There was someone around (Melanie or I) with her on an around the clock basis. She wouldn't admit it, but she was scared of the treatments and side effects. She had allergic sensitivities to many many drugs, including most antibiotics.

So, when I got home from the hospital after she died, the apartment seemed so large and too damned quiet. Of course, it WAS 4:30 am. I felt this feeling of not having ANY idea of what to do. I wrote my letter to Frank which helped put some of the previous 10 hours in perspective. I sent some emails to my family, all back east and to her cousins, etc, mostly in the New Jersey area. Again, I tried to keep busy. Sunday, I drove to Ventura to put some flowers on her parents gravesite, which is something she had wanted to do since before Christmas. It gave me something to do. Then I went to the mall and walked around a while listening to people having normal conversations about just about anything, but especially not about anything medical. I was tired of hearing about blood tests, IV's, catheters, etc. I bought me a car charger for my iphone. Simple stupid stuff like that.

My daughter recommended that I take one of Janet's Xanax pills to knock the edge off. I did, it did, and I went to sleep for 9 uninterrupted hours, which is something I haven't done in years. I woke up this morning feeling much better.

Tomorrow, we will decide on services. Janet wished to be cremated and, jokingly (I think) told Melanie that she wanted to be put on her mantle. Melanie is going to put her on the mantle. I mentioned scattering the ashes in the ocean, but was quickly outvoted 1,234,567 to 1. She seems to know how to vote more than once, sort of like Chicago (oops, trying not to go political). So anyway, the service will be small and private. Just her, me, and a few family friends as there are no other family members close by.

As I type this post, I am on hold with Medicare because they don't/didn't have the correct primary insurance information. My company changed insurance carriers on Jan 1. They still have the previous carrier. One of the hospitals that she recently visited submitted to Medicare and Medicare came back with the old carrier information. The lady at the hospital says Janet needs to call Medicare to straighten it out. I sort of jokingly commented that it was going to be difficult since she died over the weekend.

<time out while I talk to Medicare>

Medicare, after waiting over 35 minutes, tells me that the hospital (or a doctor's office) is the only people who can update their records. Typical government snafu. Anyway, she took all the correct up to date info. I faxed copies of the cards to the hospital and relayed the message about updating records.

Sorry for making the post so long. It is therapeutic to talk/type about the situation. Bear with me while I ramble on sometimes.

Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers. I'll let you know of any other developments.
Old Guys Rule - The older I get, the better I was.
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby blasher on Tue Mar 08, 2011 2:55 am

just in case you might be wondering, here are pictures of Janet and me, and Janet and Melanie. I don't think I have to caption them for you.
IMG_0536_edited.jpg
IMG_0536_edited.jpg (23.83 KB) Viewed 9031 times
PICT0498_edited.JPG
PICT0498_edited.JPG (19.54 KB) Viewed 9028 times


Yes, when she was younger, she did modeling. Interesting story...When she was about 7, she did a Johnson's No More Tears shampoo print ad that ran nationally. Her cousin in Ohio, used her for "Show and Tell".
Old Guys Rule - The older I get, the better I was.
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby Fburtxds1 on Tue Mar 08, 2011 4:54 am

Now those are two really beautiful ladies, Bob.
Eccentrici eremitarum facere omnia in nudis

Frank Burt DS1 1970-1978
DS A1/A2, Display "C" (1616) 70-72
USS Richmond K. Turner CG-20 72-76
UYK-7 Instructor CSTSC Mare Island 76-78
Honeywell after discharge
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby aj_williams on Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:00 am

Bob,

My condolences to you. My family and I are praying for you and thinking of you.

A.J.
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby sjcartwright on Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:13 am

Bob, No need to apologize for the post length - thanks for sharing! I am so sorry for your loss. Remember, there are other's out here who know the pain you are going through and want to be there with you.
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Re: One of Our Own Has Suffered a Great Loss

Postby dscconway on Tue Mar 08, 2011 9:59 am

Condolences on your loss. She was a beautiful woman.
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